watchingothersdreamscometrue asked: Hey, thanks for getting back to me about my 'Fat &Pregnant' post! I have some questions and really hope there not to personal!! At my current weight (although its constant) I've been told I can't have fertility treatment. I have pcos and have always been a larger lady. How did you get doctors to listen? Also (here's the personal bit) what's your weight? I would love a comparison to give my doctor. Also, did you find it hard to be taken seriously? I'm sorry to bombard you but I'm desperate x
I don’t mind the personal questions at all. I’m glad I can help.
I’ve done IVF twice now at two different clinics. Both times I was well over 300 lbs. The first time I think I was 330ish to start. I got pregnant, turned out to be identical twins and miscarried at 9 weeks. They could never find the reason for the miscarriage and tried to blame it on my weight. I personally think there was such a high risk of miscarriage with identical twins that it was that and not my weight. I did two other frozen embryo transfers with that clinic because we had left over embryos. One worked at first, but it was an early loss. The second one didn’t work.
I switched clinics in large part because of the weight blaming. I know how hard it is to find a clinic that doesn’t do that. In fact, it’s impossible. But all of them that I visited were willing to go through IVF with me at my highest weight ever—350ish. The one I chose, the doctor made a comment about eating better and exercising but did not say she wouldn’t treat me because of my size.
I was very firm with doctors. I told them that while I understood and took seriously the importance of eating right and exercising, that those things never led to weight loss for me—so judging me by my weight was not a good measure of health. It wasn’t easy. They still would say things like “well, if this doesn’t work, then we’ll know why.” Or other things like that. But I chose to block that out. I knew that they were indoctrinated just as much as the rest of society.
When we did IVF 2, I was over 350 to start. I do not know how much exactly because the clinic had an old school scale and it didn’t go high enough. But I’m thinking it was around 360. When I got pregnant, I lost weight my first two trimesters. I just started gaining it back. As of my last doctor’s appointment on Monday, I was at 337. The lowest I got to during the pregnancy was 330.
Honestly, if your doctor is not listening to you and is refusing to treat you, seek out a second opinion. If that’s possible. I know it’s not always possible. But it can be done…successfully. I’m 28 weeks today. Sure enough this week, I got a scare tactic talk from my OB about the dangers of c-sections with women my size. It hurt and scared me at first, but I had to take it with a grain of salt. Medicine is a discipline where they are indoctrinated as to “right” and “wrong” more than any other discipline outside of theology. The best advice I can give you is to go with your gut and seek a second opinion. And to advocate for yourself in a strong manner.